(At post time, my video application had just over 2000 votes—hundreds more than the next most popular video. And my video has been up for less than 24 hours! That’s social media in action, and you are the ones who made it happen. Thanks so much for your support.)
A job like this comes about maybe once in a lifetime—and that’s if you’re really lucky. A job like this doesn’t even seem real. In fact, the only way a job like this could be real is if it were cooked up by a bunch of crazy vintners, half cocked on the delicious blood of their well-tended valley, laughing their asses off about what a hoot it would be to create a job called ‘Wine Country Lifestyle Correspondent’ (as well as, in all seriousness, a brilliant stroke of social media age marketing and branding). I’m just glad that they remembered and still thought it was a good idea in the morning, because this job is very real! And with your help, I’m going to get it.
Murphy-Goode Winery in the beautiful Geyserville, Sonoma County, is offering something they rightly call ‘A Very Goode Job.’ Here’s the job overview for the ‘Wine Country Lifestyle Correspondent,’ which reads like something straight out of my most blissful dreams (and heartfelt passions, skill set and bar tab):
“We at the Murphy-Goode Winery got to thinking about the new age of communications and we figured it was a pretty good thing. So to get going, we’re looking for someone (maybe you) who really knows how to use Web 2.0 and Facebook and blogs and social media and YouTube and all sorts of good stuff like that — to tell the world about our wines and the place where we live: the Sonoma County Wine Country.
In exchange, we’re offering you a “Really Goode Job” — a six-month job paying $10,000 a month plus accommodations!
We want to hire a social media whiz (your title will be “Murphy-Goode Wine Country Lifestyle Correspondent”) who will report on the cool lifestyle of Sonoma County Wine Country and, of course, tell people what you’re learning about winemaking.
Did we mention that the compensation was $10,000 per month plus accommodations in a beautiful home in picturesque Healdsburg, a popular vacation destination in our neck of the woods. Working hours are flexible. And all you have to do is experience wine and good living, and then tell people about it. (Do you play Poker, or Liar’s Dice? Don’t worry; we’ll teach you.)”
Unbelievable, right? I mean, wine, with a few good bourbon whiskeys here and there, is pretty much all I drink. And social media? As I’ve been telling you for years, and you’ve come to realize, I AM INTERNET. And the the region of Sonoma County where Murphy-Goode is is absolutely one of the most beautiful places on earth.
At the risk of saying too much about it and inspiring all of you to also apply, increasing my competition, have a taste of some of the other job duties (read the whole list here):
-Testing potential picnic sites: Sonoma County is full of scenic spots, and visitors will need guidance on how to choose the best place for a picnic. Scout undiscovered sites and test-picnic established locations.
-Playing Liar’s Dice in the Barrel Room: (We named one of our great Zins “Liar’s Dice.”)
-Tasting hundreds of wines and meeting the locals in our tasting room.
-Increasing your wine wisdom: while studying isn’t required, our winemaking and vineyard experts will take the time to show you how it’s all done.
-Working with our winemaker, David Ready, Jr., to create a new wine commemorating your job with us.
-Filing reports on your experiences, via weekly blogs, photo diaries, Twitter, Facebook, video updates and ongoing media interviews.
-Tracking the local owl and raptor populations: There are hundreds of raptors patrolling the vineyards, keeping the grapes safe from harmful pests. Monitoring owl and hawk populations — particularly those that inhabit the new series of nesting boxes — is helpful to our sustainable farming practices.
Wine? Wine making? Gorgeous landscapes? Videos? Dice? Social media? Raptors? Fun, fascinating people? Where do I apply? Oh wait, I already did. And here’s my video. Just promise me that if you view it below, you’ll also go here and cast your vote for me (if you like it). Thanks so much, and hopefully you’ll soon be reading, hearing and viewing my reports as Murphy-Goode’s ‘Wine Country Lifestyle Correspondent!’
From the wild African bush to the asteroid-blasted surface of Mars to the ratings-starved studio of Anderson Cooper 360, the fertile minds and deft digital skills of my readership and our viewership placed little Sarah and me in all sorts of wonderful places, populations and predicaments. And with a snappy, 24-hour turnaround! Thank you all for joining in on this ragbag of layering. It tickled me. And now, in no particular order and without further comment, here are your inspired creations:
-Andy Haverkamp
-Dave Friedel
-Adam Ott
-Adam Ott (2nd submission)
- Andrew Taraschke
-William Howard
-Wayne Bolin
-Wayne Bolin (2nd submission)
-Tony Vaiana
-Bill Ellis
-Aaron Nights
-Michael Mann
-Anton T.
-Anton T (2nd submission)
-Some Douche
Attention, troopers! It’s been a powerful long time since I’ve given you a mission. Well it’s time to quit your lollygagging and put down that back issue of Miniature Donkey Talk magazine, because you’re about to get your marching orders—straight to the Photoshop icon!
First, a little back story: My fierce and bloodthirsty co-host on This Week in Fun, the wicked Sarah Lane (yes, I know that outwardly she appears fun and bubbly, but a dark, acidic ichor runs through those veins, a substance so caustic I once saw a drop of her saliva—not even blood—burn clear through the hood of a 1986 Buick Regal), and I took a whole mess of photos last week. No, we weren’t on one of our legendary birding expeditions, but rather in front of a green screen. See, the idea is to have our animator pal Eden Soto use the photos to construct an eye-popping graphical intro for This Week in Fun. A graphical intro that we’ll start to use once we begin publishing our show in video format—hopefully in the very near future!
And now that you’re caught up, I thought we’d launch into some digital horseplay. Below, I’ll post three of these photos. Being that they’re against green screen, it will be easy peasy for even the most fledgling Photoshop users to place Sarah and me in a world far away. Will we be feasting at an elaborate Hindu wedding? Smelting iron ore in pre-Solidarność era Ukraine? Embroiled in some sort of a madcap caper (involving a gondola and pudding) that we simply don’t know how we’ll ever make our way out of? The answer is only limited by your imagination (and Photoshop skills [and rather narrow range of photos I’ll be providing you])!
When you’ve finished, send your handiwork to martin at twit dot tv and I’ll post them in an upcoming entry, maybe even flash one on the show (we’ll do more of this once show is full video).
Ok, then, go! Photoshop ‘til you drop!
(Large Size Here)
(Large Size Here)
(Large Size Here)
You want to know why I haven’t written anything up in here in such a long while? You want the brutal, unvarnished truth? Without any of my usual, cockamamie stories about crossbow-wielding, parched self-discovery journeys through the desert lands to the south, weakness from honorable hunger strikes with the sole intention of giving some poncy Internet hotshot a well-deserved comeuppance, or nightly, tortuous visitations by The Skinwalkers, leaving me too broken to write?
Okay, then. You asked for it. The truth is I’ve been working day and night, for months, on a Time Machine in my basement. But wait, no, not that kind of a Time Machine. My creation is literally a machine that tells time! Well, I shouldn’t really say my creation, or at least not my invention, because I’m building my time machine, or “clock,” from a kit I bought on Internet for $9.99. Check it out!
My Time Machine looks like a racecar with another racecar in the rearview mirror trying to pass it! So you can understand how busy I’ve been, and why I’ve had no time to blog. Oh, by the way, I’ve also been writing a book, which is also somewhat time-consuming. But more about that in a later post. For now, I need to get back down into the basement and continue working on my Time Machine! Another post tomorrow, I promise.